The outskirts of Moreno Valley

I went to the outskirts of Moreno Valley, today. That’s right, it got slow enough to send me into another store’s territory just to make some scratch. That, or the MoVal location got lazy and told them to call us.

Either way, when I get to the house, it’s this little old lady with pinkeye, or something, because one of the lids is an unnatural shade of pepper-red.
I tell her the total.

“Wha? 34?”

“No, 38.44.”

“34?”

“Thir-tee-eight-four-tee-four.”

“Well, I have 35 here…” She hands me a 20, a 10 and a 5, then reaches into a coin purse. “And here’s 2 dollar coins for you.”

So she’s actually short a dollar and 56 cents. She’s old. I’ll take this small hit.

To be honest, though, I kinda suspect she knows exactly how much the order costs and she’s just feigning senility. Seriously, I am so gonna so that when I get old. I’ll get in a high speed chase and pretend not to know. “What? A hundred and twenty?! I though I was only going 12!”

Another thought: is it a good deed on my part to allow this woman to lie to me and steal from me and take advantage of me, just because she’s old and poor? This isn’t like that time a different old lady gave me 12 bucks, meaning to only tip 2 but there was a brand-crispy-new 10 dollar bill stuck underneath. I told her what happened and gave the 10 back.

“Thank God you’re an honest man,” she said.

Later, I would retell this story to a friend, and he would respond by asking, “Why thank God you’re an honest man? Why not thank you?” And he’s got a point. God didn’t make my decision for me.

I’m not a terribly religious person, but I don’t think God would approve of the red-lidded lady lying and stealing from me. Unless she actually is senile.